I’m going to slowly work on this section over time. I would find it virtually impossible to be happy with this piece in one sitting. The number of businesses that I’ve started and have been involved with, the relationships that I’ve had, the experiences that I’ve had – I’m competent in three languages and a wide array of disciplines. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy with this public bio because there’s so much I’d want to convey. But modesty probably won’t be part of that.

I’m a polymath.

I watched a TED talk about polymaths and was quite inspired by it. I could relate – I’ve linked it here. People have recommended I be a programmer, entrepreneur, doctor, scientist, basketballer and of all things – a male escort.

I speak three languages.

I speak English, Russian and Armenian – that’s in order of proficiency. Being multi-lingual is not something I really define myself by or think about a lot; it sounds impressive and I feel it’s one way to introduce people to the idea that I’m different, based on a fact – not just because we all like to think we’re special. You need proof.

I’ve been kidnapped for a day and nearly killed.

I had a knife held to my throat by a man who was willing to kill me. I had my legs zip-tied and I was interrogated. I managed to talk my way out of the situation, and even leverage it to my advantage.

I was mugged once. The mugger forgot to turn off my phone. I found him.

Not to get too hung up on the whole “intellectual/sophisticated” image put forth, I also believe there’s a time and place for a purely masculine energy. He stole my phone, wallet and sunnies. I found the guy using Find My iPhone (GPS tracking) with the help of my father, and we beat the crap out of the guy together. It was to this day one of the best bonding experiences I’ve ever had with my father. You should have seen the guy’s face.

I ran an “event” company as a kid.

Teenagers mainly care about going to parties and related activities. I turned this youthful affliction into a profit-making enterprise that simultaneously allowed me to do the teenager thing, go to more parties and meet girls on the level of a celebrity and make more money than anyone my age in the process. I was also socially inept at the time. I didn’t actually get invited to parties much, so throwing them as a business was my way of “hacking the system”.

I’m a cowboy web developer and programmer.

I can’t stand the unqualified hacks who claim to be web designers because their lack of skills and qualifications result in very low-quality work, and impact the reputation of the industry as a whole. But I was one of them, long enough that I learned through mistakes how to be one of the best front-end web developers in the world (after about 10+ years of experience).

I’m also an SEO & online marketing expert.

So is everyone and their dog. Except I learned these skills because I had to promote and grow my own startups, and then started using these skills for other people’s businesses. This allowed me to gain years of valuable experience and go from cowboy to professional. Again, when it comes to SEO I’d say I’m one of the best in the world. Marketing is a life skill.

I’ve had my run-ins with the law.

I can’t really talk about this publicly, but I was accused of something by someone and it was a made-up lie. So now I fight for the equality of men in the legal system.
As a side-note – don’t mess with me. I’m really the wrong person to mess with.

I don’t like rules or the status quo.

Fukin’ oath.