UPDATE: I am currently in a relationship – Oct 2018

I legit get an email that says “DATE REQUEST” when you submit the below form. No kidding.

I’m currently single and thought, “fuck it”. I’m 25, funny, intelligent, kind, ambitious and a few other things you’re going to have to find out on your own (if you’re lucky).

Finding a good partner in this day and age of Tinder, Bumble and everyone-cheating-on-everyone is increasingly difficult, and the right people are looking for the wrong people in the wrong places trying to find the right people who are also looking for the wrong people in different wrong places.

The number of opportunities you get with the opposite sex is a product of two factors:

(Your-attractiveness) X (number-of-people-you-meet) = opportunities.

Put simply, the more often you put yourself in situations where you will meet new members of the opposite sex (in real life, not online) the more often you will receive interest from the opposite sex. But this will also be proportional to how generally attractive you are to the opposite sex. So by maximising these two factors, you maximise your dating opportunities.

Happiness in a relationship = Suitability of your partner to your needs.

Well, how do you end up with the most suitable partner possible? This is yet another equation. Assuming the distribution of suitability in partners you choose has some random noise, and is generally biased towards the more-suitable end of the scale due to your selectivity, what you’re looking for is statistical outliers.

Outliers in a suitability graph would be people that you just like so much, get along with so well, are so attracted to that they make the rest of the people you dated look dull in comparison. And that’s one of our keywords here, you must be able to compare and experience multiple different people and relationships and situations before you know what’s out there, what you like and what has the chance of making you happy. And once you gain this experience and learn the metrics you need to look for, you end up doing something akin to the “bogosort” algorithm.

The bogosort algorithm tries to sort a deck of cards by basically chucking them in the air randomly and hoping that they land in a perfectly sorted deck of cards. It’s highly unlikely, just like it’s unlikely that you’d find the perfect partner, but the more times you try, the more likely you are to luck-out with an outlier. And funny enough, when you do find the right person, you’re going to feel damn lucky you did.

So the equation looks something like this:

(dating-experience&self-awareness) X (number of people you date) = (highest partner quality) 

But this equation has one flaw. It doesn’t mean that you’ll end up with the person you desire, it just means that at some point you would have dated them.

It’s a massive problem that breaks a lot of people’s hearts. Because you might end up with someone who seems good-enough. But you may never know if there’s someone else out there that could be even better. And this is a horribly childish and selfish reason to break someone’s heart. The basic rule is, once you’ve found someone who’s a decent outlier from the rest, and you’ve had roughly ~4-6 serious relationships (which might mean you’ve dated 100s of different people), you can bet that this person is probably as good as it’s going to get. Stay with them.

Because in theory, if you look long and hard enough, there will always be someone out there that’s at least a little bit better than your current partner. But does this mean that we should constantly be looking around, betraying the trust of the person who loves us most? Does this mean that as soon as we think we’ve met someone better, that we should just jump-ship and leave our current partner for the greener pasture? No. You shouldn’t do it just like you wouldn’t want the man/woman of your dreams doing it to you. It doesn’t work because humans have something called honour, decency and integrity. It’s what makes our modern world possible.

So give it a go, submit the form below and ask me out on a date! Hopefully, we can be each-other’s once-in-a-lifetime outliers <3